


Teenage Wasteland

by donamorte



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Billy is acting like an idiot, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Post-Season/Series 03, Psychological Trauma, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Steve is a very nice person, fluff at some point, lots of flashbacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-05-16 09:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19314952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donamorte/pseuds/donamorte
Summary: Billy's eyes closed and he let things sink in. The wound on his arm, the black veins, that darkness crawling up inside him, the anger, the fear and then feeling no fear at all. That’s what It gave him, that was the trade. "You want to not be afraid", It had said. "I can give you that". All that Billy had to do was let It in. To gain control, he had to give it up first. And he did.One summer can change everything. Billy made a deal with the devil and then he almost destroyed everything and everyone. Now he has to deal with what he has done, but he won't have to face it alone.





	1. Violent Times

**Author's Note:**

> I started this work because I can't handle what might happen on season 3. So this is a fix-it fic I wrote before knowing if we are ever going to need one. I know that if I wait until the next season comes out I'm never posting this, so I'll just start now and see how it goes from there. Hopefully this can distract the fandom until we get the real thing. I hope you enjoy it!

Billy blinked a few times, trying to get used to the bright light. He was in a hospital room and Max was sitting beside his bed.

“Billy?” She asked softly.

He felt cold and exposed, but couldn’t figure out why. His body hurt when he tried to move. At least he was well enough to feel pain. He knew pain, it was familiar to him, always had been.

“Billy?” She asked again. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” he managed to say.

“What do you remember?”

Remember? He remembered all of it. Panic flushed through him. _Fuck. What’ve i done?_

“Where is he? Did I kill him?” His throat hurt and his voice was hoarse.

Max pressed her lips together.

“ _Max_. Did I…?”

“He is alive. The doctors say he will be fine. He hasn’t said anything, though.”

Billy let out a breath. It wasn’t relief. He didn’t know what it was. Maybe he should be scared. He had _almost_ killed him. He wanted to kill him or maybe the monster did. He didn’t know. His eyes closed and he let things sink in. The wound on his arm, the black veins, that darkness crawling up inside him, the anger, the fear and then feeling no fear at all. That’s what _It_ gave him, that was the trade. _You want to not be afraid_ , It had said. _I can give you that_. All that Billy had to do was let It in. To gain control, he had to give it up first. And he did.

He opened his eyes again, Max was staring at him.

“You should’ve killed me,” he said flatly.

“Don’t say that.” Her voice was low and she had tears in her eyes. He didn’t know what to think of it. She should’ve killed him. They all should.

Billy raised his hand to his head and finally figured out why he felt so exposed. They shaved his head. He felt a weight pressing down on his stomach, all the air escaping him. His hair was all fucking gone. He probably looked desperate because Max gave him the most pitiful look he had ever seen.

“I’m sorry, Billy. They had to shave it off,” she lamented.

Billy took a deep breath to steady himself.

“Save it.”

He didn’t need her apologies or her pity. He didn’t deserve it.

Everything was fuzzy and his body hurt a lot, so he just let himself drift off into sleep again. He couldn’t deal with everything he was feeling at the moment. When he woke up again, Max was gone.

Suddenly, he felt really alone. The room wasn’t so bright anymore, there was just a lamp on now, on his bedside table, a pile of Three Musketeers stood beside it. Couldn’t be Max’s, she hated that shit. Couldn’t be for him either, who would get him chocolate?

He heard a few rushed voices out in the corridor. One of them were Max’s, he was sure. She was a loud talker and she seemed angry. _“...after everything he did? He is a monster!”_ Billy felt sick. She was talking about him and she wasn’t wrong. That’s what he was. The other person, a woman, hissed something back, but he didn’t understand what it was. Max said something else and then stormed off, judging by the sound of footsteps. The other voice continued talking and a third person responded. Billy didn’t recognize it, but it was a man. He didn’t get a word of what they said and they left right away.

No one came to see him for a while and he felt tempted by the chocolate bars. A nurse came in to check on him. She asked if he was in pain and he said yes, thinking she might give him something to knock him down, but she just gave him a regular painkiller. He was almost asleep again when the door opened and the chief came in.

Billy had seen Hopper a lot that summer. The girl with all the powers, Jane, that was his daughter. _It_ hated the girl and it was scared of her. Billy didn’t know if Hopper was there officially or not. He might be there to arrest Billy or to get rid of him. He was scary like that. It made sense that he was that little girl’s dad.

His dad always said he was going to end up in jail. Said he was a useless piece of shit that was going to get arrested _“... and you know what they do to fags like you in jail?”._ Billy blocked those memories and focused on Hopper.

“Hey Kid, how you holdin’ up?”

“Fine,” Billy lied.

Hopper took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and almost lit one when he seemed to remember he was in a hospital and put it away. Billy wanted to ask for one, he was craving for a smoke.

“So… I need to know what you remember.”

He was practical, Billy liked that. But he was still a cop, a scary one, and Billy didn’t know if he should lie so he wouldn’t end up in a mental institution.

“Look, it’s just us here, you can be honest. But I need to know what you know so I can help you.”

Billy didn’t know how he could help him, he was way beyond that, but he answered anyway.

“I turned into a monster and tried to kill my dad and everyone else.”

Hopper raised his eyebrows in surprise. He took the cigarette out again and lit it up.

“You know that wasn’t you, right? It was that _thing._ All that’s happened, it’s not your fault.”

“How do you know?” Billy snarled.

“No one’s blaming you, kid,” he said patiently. Billy almost laughed.

“Ask Maxine, she’ll tell you.”

_He is a monster,_ she said.

“I did. She said you fought it. Said you helped,” Hopper affirmed.

Billy stared blankly at him. How could he have helped when he was the one to cause everything?

“I didn’t.”

Neither of them said anything for a moment.

“Is it really over?” Billy asked.

Hopper took a drag before replying.

“We’re hopeful. For now, at least, it’s over.”

That wasn’t reassuring at all, but he’d take it.

“Are you gonna arrest me?”

Hopper seemed amused.

“No, kid. I ain’t arresting you.” He paused to take another drag, then continued. “Your father won’t press charges. He is leaving the hospital today, probably will be back to his feet in a couple of days”.

Hopper went quiet and stared at the floor. There was something he wasn’t telling Billy and it made him feel that weight on his stomach again.

“Your stepmom says... There’s no easy way to say this, kid. They don’t want you back.”

Billy gave it a good few seconds before he started laughing. Hopper held his cigarette halfway through his mouth, staring at him.

That was just great. Want him? His dad didn’t want _him,_ never did. Billy assumed that at some point he did want a son, but not _him._ No, his dad didn’t want Billy, he owned him. Billy was _his_ son, therefore he could do to him what he wanted. Now his father was letting him go like that? It definitely sounded like a joke. _They don’t want you back._ Well, that was just great. Billy contained himself.

“So that’s it? They’ll kick me out and I won’t go to jail?”

The chief nodded and put his smoke out.

“You still have to talk to some government people, sign some confidentiality papers and, you know, not say anything about what you’ve seen. They won’t let what happened here be out to the public. But if you do that, you’re free to go as soon as the hospital clears you. Think you can do that?”

Okay. Sign some papers, not talk about it. He could do that. He was hoping to never speak of it again, anyway. All he wanted was to leave this town and forget everything that happened.

“Sure,” was all he said.

Hopper kept staring at him, Billy moved uncomfortably on the bed.

“Listen, kid,” he started, “I’ve dealt with situations like yours and your dad’s before. You’re eighteen now, legally, there is nothing to be done. The best thing you can do right now is stay with you family, your friends. Do you have anywhere you can stay?”

“Thanks, I can take care of myself.”

“I know some people, I could find some…”

“I said I’m good,” he cut Hopper off. “Are we done?”

Hopper stared at him and exhaled harshly.

“Yeah, we’re done. Get some rest, okay?”

Billy watched him leave.

_They don’t want you back… stay with your family, your friends…_ Billy didn’t have a family. His dad had brothers but they were just like him, they would never take Billy. Not like he even wanted them to take him in. Friends. He thought of Maxine, Harrington, even Tommy H. Max thought he was a monster, probably had been thinking that for a while. Tommy just wanted a king to follow. And Harrington… He didn’t want to think about what Harrington was. He wasn’t his friend, that’s for sure. Billy was alone. He’d been alone for a long time, that was familiar too.

He closed his eyes and let the tears roll down his face. He wasn’t sad, exactly. Maybe relieved at some level, even happy. He wasn’t sure of what he felt, it was just a lot. But he learned from a young age that you couldn’t really feel a thing if you’re asleep, so that’s what he did.

* * *

 

Steve was in the waiting room watching dustin struggle with a vending machine, it was very entertaining. He put a few coins in and pressed the button a thousand times, Steve was sure he had broken it. The machine made a big squeaking noise, making Dustin smile like crazy. He bent down and started to collect what seemed like all of the Three Musketeers from the machine. He came cackling back to steve, both hands full of candy bars. 

“What the hell are you doing?” He hissed at the boy. 

“What? I got them for Billy! He’ll be hungry when he wakes up!” He stated like it was obvious and started eating one of Billy’s candy. Steve took one too. 

At one point of that night they were all in the hospital. The kids, the parents, the cops, but now it was way calmer. Dustin only had a bruise on his chin, but he stayed for Steve who had bruises all over his body. Nothing serious, but his arm and his back hurt from when Billy pushed him. No, not Billy, the Mindflayer. Max was still there too, in the room with her brother. Her mom was there somewhere, with Billy’s dad. Apparently he was pretty hurt, but he would live. Steve thought that was probably fair. Actually, maybe it wasn’t. He should have gotten way worse than what he got. 

“Hey, Max is coming! Max is coming!” Dustin screamed right at his ear. 

Max came down the hallway looking tired. She had some bruises on her arms, but other than that, she was fine, physically. 

“He didn’t wake up?” Steve asked her before she even had time to sit down. 

“Just for a bit.”

“Did he say something? Is he hungry?” Dustin asked full of hope. 

Max just made a face at him then looked down. 

“He didn’t say much.” 

“Can we go see him?” Dust inquired, more excited than he should be. 

“He’s sleeping again.” 

“I got him nougat, can you take it to him?” 

Max nodded. 

“I’ll take it to him, then I need to find my mom. She’s in here with my stupid step dad.” 

She took a bunch of candy bars and shoved them in her front pocket, then looked straight at Steve.

“I’ll let you know when he wakes up again.” 

He thanked her and she went disappeared down the corridor again. 

“I think it’s time to go home, buddy,” he told Dustin.

“What? What if he wakes up?”

Steve had no idea where all that concern about Billy came from. A few months before Dustin was warning him that “ _ although he is really cool, he’s a crazy son of a bitch”.  _ Actually, a few hours ago they were all discussing if they should kill him or not. He remembered Dustin being very willing to do it.

“He is in a hospital, Dust, I’m sure he’ll be fine.” 

Dustin looked tired too. They managed to avoid his mom for a while, but she’d be worried pretty soon. Steve took him home, then went back to the hospital to wait for Billy to wake up. 

He didn’t have to wait much until he heard Max's screams echoing down the hall. Steve got up immediately, if it was something with Billy he needed to know. He looked towards the corridor and Max was screaming at her mom, Hopper was with them. Then she came bursting back through the waiting area and walked right past him. He called after her but she just kept walking. Back in the corridor, Max’s mom was still talking to Hopper. If something happened to Billy he was sure she’d be more concerned, so he decided to go after Max. 

Steve found her sitting on the sidewalk outside, crying her eyes out. He sat down next to her. 

“Max, what happened?” He asked softly. 

She snapped her head at his direction. 

“THEY’RE GOING TO THROW HIM OUT,” she blurted out. “She’s just gonna let him throw Billy out!”

“What?!”

“She’s just gonna let him do it! After everything he did! She’s just…”

Max cried even more. Steve threw an arm around her and pulled her close until she calmed down. It took a while. 

“I can’t believe she is condoning this,” she said, drying her face with the sleeve of her hoodie. “What he said about Lucas! What he did to Billy all of those times!” 

Steve could believe. His mom didn’t leave his dad either. Sure, he wasn’t as bad as Billy’s father, he had never laid a finger on Steve, wasn’t even around enough for that. He was an asshole, but at least he had some human decency. Billy’s dad really was terrible. He’d seen it and now everyone on the party knew too. Steve guessed that helped a bit with Billy's sudden gain of popularity. 

“This isn’t fair!” Max cried. 

“I know. I know.” He put his arm around her again. “We’re gonna figure something out, okay?”

She nodded and wiped her face again. 

“Shouldn’t you go home and get some rest?” He asked her like the den dad he was.

“I don’t wanna leave him alone.”

“It’s okay, I’ll stay with him.”

Max stared at him as if she could read his mind, he really hoped she couldn’t. 

“Okay. But take me to the Byers’, I don’t want to go home.” 

Well, he wouldn’t want either. He drove her to the Byers’ where Joyce gladly took her in. She already had Will and Jane there, Max would be fine. When he got back to the hospital, Hopper was just leaving Billy’s room. 

“Is he okay?” 

“You better give him some time.”

Steve looked over at Billy’s room. Max didn’t want him to be alone and neither did Steve, but he followed Hopper back to the waiting room. 

“How’s the kid?” He asked, sitting down.

“I left her at the Byers’,” Steve replied and took a sit too. 

“Good,” he nodded. “Did she fill you in?” 

“Yeah, she did. I mean, can they do that?”

Hopper nodded.

“There’s nothing I can do, Billy is not a minor anymore. If I just knew it sooner…” Hopper brushed a hand over his face. 

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. 

“Did  _ you  _ know?” 

“I suspected,” he lied. 

He knew. He should’ve done something. He should’ve talked to Billy or told someone. Should’ve helped, but he didn’t. Steve still was a very shitty person. 

“Well, it’s over now. I threatened his dad into not pressing charges. Piece of shit wanted to put his own son in jail after abusing him for god knows how long. Can’t stand people like that.” 

Steve wished he could’ve seen Neil’s face when Hopper threatened him. It must have been awesome. Hopper was a great man, but right now he looked old and tired. 

“Hey, I’m gonna head home, gotta get my kid.” He stood up. “Call me if you need anything, alright?” 

Steve nodded.

“And Steve, take care of him.” 

“I will,” he assured. 

Steve waited until midnight to enter the room and he had to fight a loud gasp. Billy’s skin was very pale and the veins is his arms were dark. Not black like when he was infected, but he still looked sick. There were bruises as far as skin was visible. Yet, the biggest change was his hair. He didn’t have any. Some poor bastard shaved Billy’s hair off, Billy was going to freak out. He seemed small and fragile with a shaved head. Still handsome, though. Steve always thought he looked like an angel, with his blue eyes and golden hair. Now it was like he’d fallen. 

He sat on the chair next to the bed and watched Billy’s chest go up and down until he fell asleep too.

* * *

 

When Billy woke up he was still alone. The curtains were close but he could see the light coming from behind them, which meant it was morning already. His body was still hurting and now he was hungry too. He looked over to the pile of candy bars, someone had eaten one. Before he could take one, the door busted open. He thought it might be Max, but it was just a nurse, a different one from the night before.

“Good, you’re awake. Your friend will be back here soon, I need to take a look at you.”

Friend? Couldn’t be Max, she thought he was a monster. Still, Billy found himself hoping it was her. 

The nurse asked him a bunch of questions, took his blood pressure and measured his temperature. She also helped him to the bathroom, she was extremely strong for a woman of half his size. He was left alone with a tray of terrible hospital food that he was definitely not eating. His door opened again and he was ready to tell the nurse to take that thing away when Harrington walked into the room. 

“Oh. Hey.”

He looked surprised. Billy was sure he looked pretty fucking surprised too.  _ Friend _ .

“Why are  _ you  _ here?” 

“Hm, I… Checking on you?” He lifted his shoulder in a half shrug. 

Billy squinted his eyes at him. 

“Why?” 

“Because… Everyone is worried about you, specially Max. I left her at the Byers' so she could rest.”

That didn’t clarify anything. Actually, he was even more confused. Steve came closer and leaned against the back of the chair. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked. 

Billy didn’t know. 

“I’m good,” he said, Steve didn’t seem to believe him. 

“You should probably eat that,” he indicated the tray with his head. 

“It tastes like greasy paper.”

Steve laughed. Jesus, he was cute.  

“I can get you something from the cafeteria upstairs, they have cake!” He offered gleefully. 

Billy shrugged so Steve head out to buy him cake. He had no idea what was going on. He didn’t understand why Steve Harrington, of all people, was checking on him. After all that happened he thought Steve would never want to see him again.

He remembered his hands around Steve’s neck and the voice in his head telling him to keep squeezing.  _ He is your weakness.  _ He remembered Max and the other kids screaming, telling him to stop, but he couldn’t stop. Steve put his hands over Billy’s, looked him in the eyes and told him to fight it, so he did. 

The voice in his head said  _ Kill him,  _ Billy said  _ No.  _ He stopped squeezing and shoved Steve away. He flew through the room and hit something. Billy must’ve hurt him. He didn’t want to hurt him. When he turned around Max was staring at him, terrified. The voice said  _ She hurt you too _ and showed him when she had hit him in the head earlier and when she injected him with drugs last year.  _ Not her,  _ he said,  _ Him _ . So he went home after his dad. 

The door opened again, startling Billy. Steve smiled at him holding a piece of chocolate cake on a plastic plate and a bottle of orange juice. He got him fucking juice. 

“I got orange, they didn’t have a lot of options,” he said, handing Billy the food. 

“Thanks.” 

They stared at each other for a moment. Steve’s eyes were disconcerting. Billy had no idea if he had to say something else. He tried offering some cake but Steve politely declined before sitting on the chair beside his bed. Billy guessed he was staying. 

“Oh, I almost forgot. Dustin got you these,” he pointed at the pile of Three Musketeers. “He wanted to stay ‘til you woke up, but I had to take him home.” 

Billy choked on the cake. 

“He was here?” 

“Yeah, man.” 

Harrington smiled at Billy like he was amusing him.

“Then keep your hands away from my chocolate, Harrington," he said, guessing he was the one to eat one of the bars.

“Alright, then,” he said with an even bigger smile.

Later, the nurse came back and brawled at Billy for not eating the food. A doctor came in too and said Billy could go by the afternoon. Apparently Billy was alright, just a little bruised and dehydrated, which was weird considering he was hit multiple times by a variety of objects. The most serious bruise was the cut in his head, reason why they shaved his hair. She told Harrington that Billy needed to eat and drink a lot of fluids like he was his companion or some shit. Harrington acted totally natural, like he was actually responsible for Billy. 

Hopper came not long after with several people in black suits and ear pieces, saying they were federal agents. They made Billy sign a bunch of papers while making veiled threats to him and his family. Billy managed to not laugh. 

Harrington was there the whole time, leaning on the wall with his arms crossed, looking suspiciously at the agents. He had been through that already and the agents paid him no mind. When they were done, Hopper escorted them out looking tired and pissed off. He looked between Billy and Steve and nodded his head at them before closing the door behind him.

Steve dragged a hand through his hair and let out a harsh breath. He looked tired too. His hair was all messy and his left eye was black. Billy counted several smaller bruises on his face, arms and neck, it seemed like he'd been through a battle. He hoped it wasn’t all his doing. Billy stared at him, unsure if he should be saying something. 

“So…” Harrington started, “Do you have a place to stay?”

It took Billy a few seconds to know what he was on about. He knew. Of course he knew. Hopper probably told him, maybe Max.

“I’ll figure it out,” he replied. 

“Yeah, like what? Gonna sleep in your car?” Steve teased.

That was exactly Billy’s plan. At least for a couple of nights until he could get his last paycheck from the pool, but he didn’t say that. 

“Are you serious? Jesus, Billy,” he buried his hands in his hair. Harrington was so dramatic. 

“I’m fine, okay? I have a job.” 

He wasn’t sure of that. The pool had been closed since Heather went missing. No, she wasn’t missing, Billy knew what happened to her. He swallowed hard and tried to push the thought away.

“You know you… You could stay at my place. My parents wouldn’t even notice you there, you could…”

“I said  _ I’m fine, _ ” Billy snapped. 

Harrington looked like a hurt puppy. Billy knew he would do this, knew he was going to offer him his own place or money or some shit. It was the same reason why he was there. Because that was Steve. He wasn’t like Billy, he was one of the good guys. Billy didn’t need his pity nor did he deserve it. 

“Why are you even here, man? Needing to feel good about yourself?”

Steve choked out a laugh, shaking his head incredulously at Billy. 

“God, why’d you have to be such an asshole? I’m here because… Beause… I’m just trying to help, okay?” 

“It be a great help if you’d leave me alone.” 

He watched Harrington fidget around and start nodding, like he had just decided how big of a piece of shit Billy was.

“You know what? Alright. Good luck, Billy.” 

Steve got up and left. 


	2. What's Underneath Us

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_ Steve said as he smacked his hands on the steering wheel.

Dealing with Billy Hargrove had been a series of frustrations and surprises. It had been like that since last year after Billy beat the hell out of Steve.

All Steve could think that weekend was the amount of shit he’d have to take from Billy and Tommy and everyone else during the rest of his senior year. But, for his first surprise, Billy showed up at school with as many bruises as Steve had. Everyone assumed they had the fight of the century and declared it a tie. Billy never denied it. Steve was very intrigued by this. He wondered who Billy had fought to get those bruises and reached the conclusion that it was probably a kid or a girl, which made him embarrassed enough to let people think that Steve had kicked his ass too. He was so wrong.

In basketball practice, their coach decided to put the two of them always on the same team or not playing at the same time at all. He probably heard of their epic fight and was scared that they could start something up again. It worked, though. Billy wasn’t much of a team player, but he wasn’t knocking Steve down every five minutes either. That change of behavior intrigued Steve as well. Billy simply didn’t mind him anymore. He acknowledged Steve but didn’t mind him. In the few classes they had together, Billy would come in, look at Steve once and then ignore him for the rest of the period. During lunch, he’d sit with Tommy and Carol or with some other guys from the basketball team. He would glance at Steve sometimes.

Steve just couldn’t figure him out. It’d be wrong to start a sentence with _Billy wasn't_ to describe him. There was nothing lacking on him. Billy was. He was all fire, rage and intensity. A match in an oil pitch. An unspoken tragedy. He was the point towards all the compasses turned to and Steve needed some fucking directions. Steve didn’t understand why it mattered, but it did.

He looked at the Hospital and pictured Billy sitting all sulky and alone. He turned on the car and went home.

His house was empty as usual, no sign his parents had been there while he was gone. They might not even be home soon since they were there by the beginning of the week before all the crazy shit started happening again. Steve finally took a shower. At least this time he wasn't intoxicated with upside down goo and wasn't covered in mud. It was just regular dirt and blood. Okay, maybe a little bit of goo.

He thought about calling Max to let her know that Billy was okay and back to his normal self. However, Steve said he wouldn't leave him alone, then he did, Max would definitely be pissed. She'd kill him if he ever said it but Billy and Max were very similar. He decided to call her later, after a nap. Steve laid on his fancy couch in his huge empty house and slept for five hours.

-

Steve woke up frantic, knowing he slept too much. It was the middle of the afternoon, Billy probably had been discharged from the hospital already. _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid,_ he said as he ran out to his car. He drove back to the hospital in less than ten minutes, a drive that he would usually make in fifteen. He parked terribly and raced to the reception desk.

“Billy Hargrove’s still in?” He panted.

The lady behind the desk raised her eyes at him slowly and perked up one brow.

“Can you check if Billy Hargrove is still in here, please?” Steve tried again, smiling softly. She held one finger up and turned back to look into a pile of papers.

“Looks like he was discharged ten minutes ago.”

“Shit.”

She stared disapprovingly at him. He apologized and went out again, looking around, hoping to see Billy.

“Shit,” Steve repeated.

He should’ve been there. Of course Billy would tell him to leave and that he was good on his own and of course it was a lie. Steve got in his car to go after Billy Hargrove.

There were only a few ways Billy could’ve gone and he couldn’t be very far in ten minutes. Steve tried to put himself in Billy’s shoes. He was hurt, alone and didn’t have a home to go back to. Steve remembered Billy’s response when asked where he was going to stay. He was going to get his car. Going home for his car was a terrible idea, which was one more proof that’s exactly what Billy would do.

It didn’t take long to find him. Billy was moving incredibly slow down one of the streets who ended on the main drag. He had always been the center of attention, but now people were really staring at him. He was wearing the same clothes he wore when he was admitted to the hospital, a black shirt with the sleeves cut off and the jeans that made his ass look amazing. They were dirty and there was blood on them. Billy looked like he ran from a car crash.

Steve entered the wrong lane and slowed down to Billy’s pace. Billy looked over and rolled his eyes at Steve.

“Thought you finally listened to me and left,” said Billy without looking at him.

“Yeah, I got lost along the way. Need a ride?”

“I’m good.”

“C’ mon, man, just get in. You can barely walk.”

“Walked all this way by myself.”

“Sure, at this pace you’ll hit main street in only two hours,” teased Steve. He got an annoyed look from Billy.

A truck came in his direction and turned abruptly to avoid hitting him. The guy honked and screamed at him. Steve just kept driving.

“You’re gonna crash your fucking car.”

“Then just get in.”

“No.”

God, why did he have to make things so complicated? Steve speeded up and threw the car over the sidewalk to block his way.

“Are you insane?!” Screamed Billy and about three other people on the street.

“Just get in the car.”

Another car came by honking and shouting at him. Billy’s lips turned into a thin line. He walked around the car and got in. Steve smiled at him, satisfied that he won that battle.

“So, you’re gonna drive or what?”

“Oh, right. Yeah.”

Steve pulled away and entered the right lane with Billy by his side. He drove to the main street, it was pretty busy at this time. People just went about their day, unaware of any of the strange and supernatural activities that surrounded the town, almost destroying everything a couple of days before. Steve wished he was one of them.

“So, where were you going?”

“Ho…” Billy stopped himself before finishing. “To get my shit.”

He was still not looking at Steve.

“You really think that’s a good idea? Your dad is probably there, right?”

“Right.”

“So you wanna go there anyway and face him? Sounds like a terrible idea,” reasoned Steve.

“What choice do I have?” Billy retorted, finally facing Steve. “He’s not getting my fucking car. I paid for it, fixed it. Everything I have is in the house. My clothes, my money, everything. He’s got everything.”

Steve eyed him. He felt like there was something more to it. Billy had that kind of destructive behavior that would make him want to face his father again after almost killing him. Steve didn’t think it was hatred, it was like he just wanted to prove he wasn’t afraid. To prove that he didn’t care. But he did care.

“Okay. Can’t you wait and go get it when he is not there?”

Billy took in a long breath.

“He’ll do something. If he hasn’t done it already. He’ll want to punish me.”

Jesus. The guy really was a piece of shit. He took everything away from Billy so he wouldn’t have a choice but to go running back to him.

“Shit. Okay, I’ll help you get your stuff, but we can’t go now.” Billy looked at him like he was stupid.

“He’s not gonna get rid of anything, he’s just waiting for you to show up, Billy. Think about it. He just wants you to go running back home so he can torture you some more. Isn’t that what he does?”

Billy sank deeper in his seat and didn’t say anything else. He always refused to talk about anything real, Steve wasn’t gonna push it. Billy had that really fragile look on him again, it made Steve want to touch him. It was terrible. He tried to focus on the road instead and he half succeeded.

* * *

 

Billy stared at Steve when he pulled in on his giant house.

“Told you I’m not staying here.”

“It’s just for a while, okay? So we can figure out how to get your things.”

Billy kept looking at him with annoyance. Harrington just got out of the car muttering how annoying Billy was. Billy followed him.

The inside of his house was even worse. It looked like a fucking decor magazine. Everything was fancy and clean, it didn’t look like anyone lived there. There were vases and rugs and paintings. And that was just some kind of entrance hall.

“I’d show you around but I guess you’re tired. Do you want to take a shower or something? I can get you some clean clothes.”

Billy wanted to say no, but he didn’t need a fancy mirror to know he looked awful and smelled like the hospital. A shower and some clean clothes would be great, so he nodded at Steve who smiled and led him up the stairs. Steve left him by the bathroom door, walked down the hall into a room and came back with a change of clothes.

“We’re about the same size so I think they’ll fit,” said Steve, still with a shadow of a smile on his face. Billy took the clothes and stared at him. How could Steve Harrington be so nice to him? He was a fucking mystery.

“Hm, do- do you… need help?” Steve frowned. Billy frowned too until he realized what Steve meant.

“No! No.”  Billy turned around and shut the bathroom door on Steve’s face.

Billy rested his head against the wall. _Fuck. What am I doing?_ He noticed his heart was beating faster and he didn’t want to think why that was. He stripped off of his clothes and entered the shower with some difficulty. It was like his body was getting back whatever he didn’t feel while he was infected. The warm water fell over him and helped relax his muscles. He looked at his left arm, the one with the bite where the infection started. It had a small scar, almost invisible. It didn't hurt, but every time Billy looked at it his chest tightened and all the memories would come rushing back.

He was sitting in his bed, waiting for his father. When he finally showed up, Billy was ready. He let his dad scream off at him. He asked where Max was and why Billy looked like he’d been in a fight. But Billy was patient and waited until he made his first strike. His dad’s eyes bugged as he stared at Billy’s hand holding his fist halfway through his face. He never faced his father in his life, but now he was stronger than ever and he wasn’t afraid. He would make _him_ afraid. Billy threw him to the floor and broke his arm in one snap. His dad screamed. Billy grabbed his neck tightly and threw him against the shelves. Leaning forward Billy asked him: _What. Did. We. Talk. About._ His dad didn’t answer, but Billy could _feel_ his fear, it was running black in Billy’s veins. _It_ was feasting on it.

Somewhere behind him, he heard more screaming. It was Susan and Maxine. They were begging him to stop. _But it feels so good._ Max tried to hit him with something. The kids were there too. And Steve. Billy faltered and his dad fell to the floor. Steve tried to hold him, but Billy pushed him off again. _Not you,_ he said. Max was screaming again, she had that bat with the nails all over it. _It_ flashed him a memory from last year when she threatened him. _She hurt you_ , it insisted. Billy said no. He grabbed his dad and pushed him against the shelves again, his head hit it hard. _You pussy_ , his dad mumbled and Billy tightened his grip around his neck. Something hit him in the back. He looked over his shoulder and the bat was sticking out of him. He dropped his father and pulled the bat out of his skin, tossing it to the floor. It didn’t even hurt. Blood ran down his back soaking his shirt and dripping on the floor. They all stared at him in horror.

The sound of knocks on the door brought him back. Steve asked him if he was okay, his voice sounded muffled through the door and the noise of the shower. Billy had no idea how long he’d been in there.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Billy reached behind him at the top of his back. Four nails had punctured his skin, one deeper than the others. If Max were a little taller and she’d hit him harder it would’ve caused some real damage.

He finished up quickly and got out. Steve had got him a white t-shirt and blue sweatpants that were alright, but Billy realized too late that he was gonna have to wear Steve’s underwear. It was a grey Jockey with a white waistband. He tried his best to not think about how large they were on him.

When he got out of the bathroom Steve was nowhere in sight. Billy had to fight the urge to peak at his bedroom, he was sure that there was something there to give him teasing material for the rest of his life. But he decided to give Harrington a pass since he was being so nice to him.

“Harrington?” He called out.

“I’m down here,” said Steve, somewhere downstairs. Billy headed down slowly. He wasn’t sure if he thought he would break or if he might break some of Harrington’s fancy furniture.

Steve showed up through a door, eyed Billy up and down and nodded as if he was proud of his good fashion choices.

“Are you hungry?” He smiled and sign for Billy to follow him.

“I could eat.” Billy was starving.

Like the rest of the house, the kitchen was insanely big. The cabinets were white and navy blue. It had an isle in the middle with a dish rack above it. All of the pots and pans were made of copper. There was a separate dining room with a big glass table and chairs with blue cushions to match the cabinets. Everything looked new. Billy decided to not make a comment on any of it.

"I made sandwiches," Harrington showed him, proudly, two plates with ugly looking sandwiches. Billy raised an eyebrow at him. “It tastes good, I swear.”

They sat together by the isle to eat. Billy was surprised that the sandwich was actually good despite the looks. Steve stared at him with expectation.

“It’s good, man,” he assured him with his mouth full. Steve smiled and ate his own sandwich.

"Where're your parents at?"

"Out of town. Working, I guess. My dad owns a company and my mom... Well, I don't really know what she's been doing these days."

"They don't stay here during the week?" Billy asked, surprised. Steve shook his head in denial.

"They barely stay here at all. Sometimes they stay out a couple of weeks or so."

_Jesus._ Billy would've been glad to not have his dad around most of the time but Harrington sounded miserable. Billy thought of him alone in that huge house, coming home to no one every day of the week. He felt bad for him. Then he felt bad for feeling bad because he of all people knew how shitty it was that people pitied you.

"My mom still calls every other day to make sure I’m not dead or starving, but my dad is an asshole."

"I get that," Billy said.

They ate the rest of their food in a not-so-uncomfortable silence.

* * *

 

While Billy took a shower, Steve called Max. First, he tried the Byers’s, but Will picked up and told him Max’s mom had come to take her home. Will gave him the number to her house and asked Steve to send Billy his best. He was a cute kid.

He called and luckily Max picked up, he didn’t know if he could deal with having to talk to Billy’s stepmom or his dad.

“Hey Max, it’s Steve.”

She sighed very loudly

“Finally! Wait a minute.” He heard disconnected sounds and then she spoke again in a lower tone. “How is he? Are you still at the hospital? You said you’d let me know!”

“I know, sorry. Yeah, he’s alright. He’s with me. At my place, I mean. In my house. He’s taking a shower now. I’m not there!”

Steve rolled his eyes at how stupid he was.

“Okay.” drawled Max after a long pause. Steve could just see her staring weirdly at him as she did in the hospital.

“How are things over there?” He asked to distract her.

“So weird. My mom is stressed out and Neil is being really creepy. He’s been sitting in the living room all day and barely said a word. Maybe Billy damaged his brain or something.”

Steve thought about it for a moment. Maybe Billy’s dad could actually be traumatized after everything that happened, they were all a little scarred. But then again, he was a piece of shit and could be just planning what awful thing to do next.

“You should be careful, Billy thinks he’s gonna do something. That he’s gonna punish him. He’s afraid his dad’s gonna take his car.”

“The car is still in the garage, I saw it earlier but I think Neil has the keys with him.”

Steve could feel that something was gonna happen.

“Is he going to work tomorrow? Maybe we could go over and get Billy’s stuff.”

“He’s not working. Billy broke his arm. He’s staying home _all week.”_

_Shit._

“We’ll figure something out. I gotta go. Be alert, we might need you.”

“I will,” Max said with a serious tone. “And Steve, tell Billy… tell him… I said hi, okay?”

“Sure. Bye, Max.”

Steve hang up.

He was stressed out now. Why couldn’t things be easier just once in his life? He knew Neil was going to do something and he knew Billy wasn’t going to take it lightly. The truth was: he was afraid of how Billy would handle his dad. Billy had been so different in the last few months, ever since their fight at the Byers’s. He’d left the kids alone, annoyed Max at a normal brother-sister level and he was civil to Steve. He had even apologized for that night.

It happened one day after practice, they had just come back from winter break and Billy had bruises on his face and stomach. Steve heard Tommy tell the team how Hargrove had beaten some guys from the next town. As usual, Billy said nothing to end the rumors, Steve guessed he just let them work in his favor. But when Steve looked at his face, he didn’t look like he’d just won a fight, he looked beaten.

“That looks like it hurts,” Steve commented.

They were the only ones left in the locker room. Billy must’ve been really full of it, he didn’t even try to say something smart.

“And why do you care?” He snapped.

“I don’t,” Steve guaranteed. “It’s just… Don’t you get tired of fighting all the time? Of having everyone talk about you?”

“I can’t control what people say about me, that’s their problem.”

Steve saw an opportunity, so he asked what he wanted to ask.

“Why didn’t you say anything about me last year? We didn’t have an epic fight, you kicked my ass.”

Billy froze midway of taking his bag out of the locker. He didn’t say anything for a while, just stared straight before him.

“That wasn’t meant for you. _I’m sorry, okay_?” He said the last words looking Steve dead in the eye.

Steve couldn’t believe his ears.

“Wasn’t meant for me... What? You were gonna beat the kid?”

Billy looked confused for a millisecond before he took his bag and threw it over his shoulder.

“That wasn’t meant for him either,” he replied and then left.

A thousand thoughts ran over Steve’s head. No matter how much he tried to figure him out, Billy always found a way to surprise him. The punches weren’t meant for him or Lucas, Billy just kicked his ass for no reason, so why did he say it like an apology. It was a crappy apology, for sure, but he knew an "I'm sorry" from Billy Hargrove shouldn't be taken lightly. Still, what was stuck in Steve's brain was the sign of Billy’s hand throwing his bag over his shoulder. For someone who had been in a fight, it was really weird his hands weren’t bruised. In fact, Steve couldn’t really remember if he ever saw any type of bruise on Billy’s knuckles except after that night at the Byers’s.

Steve hit his knuckles on the bathroom door just to check, Billy had been in there for a while. He said he’d be out soon so Steve went to prepare some food. If Billy hadn’t eaten at the hospital, he’d be pretty hungry.

He was not ready to see Billy Hargrove in his clothes. His shirt was tighter around Billy’s chest, it outlined him perfectly where it’d be loose on his own body. The pants seemed to fit him well and he didn’t want to think about Billy wearing his underwear. Steve concealed his feelings and showed Billy to the Kitchen.

Billy must have been really hungry, he ate the whole sandwich in about five minutes. Maybe he was uncomfortable talking about Steve’s family and just ate faster. Either way, Steve wished he made something more of a meal, but his culinary skills included sandwiches, eggs, noodles and anything he could just heat up.

“Maybe we could get a pizza later or Chinese if you want,” he suggested.

It was about five still so they’d be hungry later. Steve didn’t want to put him through another terrible sandwich.

“Sure,” Billy replied.

He had that broken look on him again. Steve didn’t know how to act around that Billy. He had to deal with many Billies so far: angry, sassy, clever, flirty, indifferent, but never sad. Billy just seemed sad. Steve watched him play with his necklace, he didn’t think he ever saw Billy without it. He wondered where he’d gotten it. Maybe someone gave it to him, someone he loved and who loved him back. Someone who would know how to make him not sad. Steve wanted to know how to do that.

Steve cleared his throat.

“So… I called Max.” Billy’s eyes flicked to him with interest. “She said your father hasn’t done anything, only been acting weird sitting in the living room.”

“He’s waiting for me.” Billy chuckled.

“I think we should call Hopper, ask him to take us. Your father wouldn’t try anything with him there.”

Billy was staring at him like he was insane.

“We’re not asking _Hopper_ for help.”

Steve knew this was coming. Billy had a problem with authorities and with asking people for help, Hopper was a combination of the two.

“Why not? He wouldn’t mind…”

“ _No_ ,” said Billy, raising his voice.

“Look, he wouldn’t even have to go inside. We’ll have him stay in the car, just to make sure your dad won’t pull any crap. We get your things and get out. That’s it,” he explained.

Billy seemed to consider it for a moment, jaw clenched tight.

“It’s the easiest way, Billy,” Steve insisted.

He let out a sharp breath, shaking his head.

“Fine,” Billy said through gritted teeth.

Steve was actually surprised he had convinced him, but he didn’t mention it, better not test his luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, I wanted to give a little context of what happened between Billy's possession and the fight at Will's. There is still a lot to uncover from Billy and Steve's relationship so I guess you'll have to be patient, this is going to be very slow. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and comments. Hope you guys liked this one!


	3. Picking Up The Pieces

Billy sat uncomfortably on Steve’s couch. It was a great couch, the type that is so soft that it seems like something is wrong. Steve had MTV and the Live Aid promos came up all the time. Billy had been really excited for that, now it all seemed pointless considering everything that happened. Hell was let loose in Hawkins, Indiana, but the rest of the world had no idea, they had all of the other versions of hell to worry about.

Steve had called Hopper to ask him for help. Billy hated the idea, but it wasn’t like he had many options. He didn’t want to face his father alone. Before he almost killed him, Billy knew how to work him, what to expect, how to deal with things, but now everything had changed. He had a vague idea of what his father was capable of doing, but he didn’t have that for himself. He didn’t know what _he_ was capable of and that scared him. 

Everyone told him that what he did wasn’t his fault, that it was that _thing_ controlling him, but it never felt like that. It was clear to him now, he wanted to do everything he did, _It_ had just shown him _how_. The monster was inside Billy all along. 

“You have to fight it,” Steve said from the floor where Billy had thrown him. He looked hurt. Billy faltered again. “You can do it, Billy! _Plant your feet_ , remember? _”_

He remembered.

_It_ showed Billy when his dad kicked him down for listening to music too loud. He saw his parents fighting and his dad hitting his mom. Saw himself cry in his room, alone, after his mom left. He heard the ugly sound of the belt tearing up his skin. Billy turned back to his dad. 

“Fight it, Billy!” Max echoed. 

_It_ kept flashing memories inside his head. Billy’s black eye in his 8th-grade yearbook picture. His dad leaving him sick in bed, refusing to take him to the hospital. _Do you know what they do to fags like you in jail?_ his father’s voice echoed in his ears.

“Fight it Billy, come on!” All the kids were screaming now. 

He looked at Max and remembered when she shared the last of the Fruit Loops with him. He thought of them looking through music together until they found some song they heard on the radio. Saw her smiling at him through a crowd. _It_ showed him his dad beating him unconscious because of Max and Lucas. _I warned you, Max,_ Billy told her. 

All of these memories kept battling inside his head, pushing through him. Billy fell down and looked at Harrington. He saw him smiling at Billy when he won the team the final match of the championship. He remembered the other boy flirting back with him between ice cream cones. _You could get in anywhere, you’re super smart, man,_ Steve told him. His smile was so pretty.

_It_ bombed him with more bad memories. A punch. _A waste of time…_ A kick. _That whore you’re seeing…_ The lick of his dad’s belt. _Looking like a fucking faggot…_ His head hitting the floor. _Nothing about his behavior is okay…_ Billy got the bat and rose up. He turned to his dad and lift the bat over his head. They all screamed for him to stop, for him to fight it, for him to drop it. _Always telling you what to do, controlling you, It said. It_ was right…

“BILLY STOP!” Max screamed. “CAN’T YOU SEE YOU’RE TURNING INTO _HIM_?”

Billy froze. He looked at the mirror right beside him and stared at his reflection, but it wasn’t him. It was his dad, covered by black veins. He dropped the bat and jolted back, falling to the floor. _It_ tried to flash him more memories. _Stop,_ he said in his head. 

“STOP!” 

But _It_ didn’t stop. It was sending him feelings, filling him with pain, anger and fear. Billy screamed and screamed and screamed.  

_I tried to make you stronger…_

“NO!”

_Tried to give you what you wanted… Steve…_

“You tried to take him!”

_You could have everything…_

“STOP! GET. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD!” 

Billy felt his whole body burn. It burnt through his soul. He never felt so much pain in his life. It felt like he was being torn into pieces. Maybe he was. He heard a voice in the back of his head, a girl’s voice, telling him it would be okay and then everything went black. 

-

When Billy opened his eyes he was in Steve’s living room. It had gotten dark, but the TV still provided some light. Steve was staring at him from the other couch. 

“Sorry, must have fallen asleep,” Billy said, trying to break the awkwardness. 

“Nightmare?” Steve asked. 

Billy nodded.

“Yeah, I get them too. Haven’t had a good night of sleep in a long time,” he chuckled, humorless. 

“You dream about the…” _Monsters_ , Billy wanted to say, but it didn’t feel right. 

Steve nodded.

“It’ll get better, I guess.” 

Billy doubted that. Nothing in his life ever seemed to work out in his favor. Still, he hoped that that was true for Steve. Maybe it would be, once Billy was out of his life. 

“What time is it?” He asked, changing the subject.

“Eight, already,” Steve replied, looking at his wrist clock. “Are you hungry?” 

Billy shrugged and Steve smiled at him. His smile was still pretty. 

He got them the best pizza in town which was also the most expensive. Steve insisted on getting whatever Billy liked. Billy kept telling him whatever he liked was fine. They settled for cheese. Harrington always tried to be a gentleman, no matter the situation, it was fucking annoying. Tommy always said Harrington used to be cool like they were. Billy couldn’t picture a reality where he was that type of asshole. He couldn’t believe it even when Steve told himself. 

It had been after their last game of the season, the last game before they graduated and the final game of the county championship. 

The other team was giving them a really hard time and they couldn’t get more than two points apart. Billy was giving everything he got, somehow managing not to get ejected on the way. Harrington and he were working amazingly together, having scored most of the team’s points. In the last minute of the match, they were losing by two and couldn’t seem to get any good shots until some kid of the other team messed up and delivered the ball right on Harrington’s hands. 

Everything seemed to slow down. Billy hurried to give him cover. There was one guy on the way, but Billy knew Harrington’s skills, he knew he could handle it on his own. Harrington dribbled the guy, reaching the sidelines outside the three-point line. If he scored they’d win. Harrington was ready to take the shot when he stopped. He saw Billy coming down the three-point line and threw him the ball. Billy didn’t hesitate. 

The buzzer sounded announcing their victory. Suddenly, there were hands around Billy’s waist and his hands were around Harrington’s face. They smiled at each other. Harrington felt sweaty and hot and he was about the prettiest person Billy had ever seen. Billy’s whole body burned, he couldn’t remember how to breathe, it was like his brain had shut down. It was just adrenaline from the game, of course. But, for a moment, everything seemed perfectly aligned. A second later the whole team was around them and the moment was over. They lifted Billy up and chanted his name. 

“That’s how you do it, Hawkins!” He yelled over them. 

Billy looked over at the bleachers. He knew his dad hadn’t come, but for some reason, he still looked for him. Max was celebrating with her friends, her eyes found him in the crowd and she smiled. Billy thought that maybe it wasn’t all bad. 

They all went to Freddy’s for pizza. Max found a table with her nerd friends and Billy sat with the team. Harrington sat with them too. The guys had sneaked in beers so everyone was in a good mood and there were no fights. They just ate, drank and talked about the game and whatever impossible points they scored. Mostly, though, they talked about Billy, Hawkins new hero. Billy took all of it with his usual smug and confidence, but something still bothered him. 

He watched the place empty out slowly. Billy was dreading to go home, he was feeling too good to have that taken away by his dad. For just a little longer, he wanted to believe he was actually good for something. 

In the end, Harrington and he were the only ones left at the table. Looking at him gave Billy the heebie-jeebies, again. The other boy was folding a napkin without looking at him. 

“How come you didn’t make that point?” Billy blurted. 

He didn’t mean to just ask him, but the beers he took made his head light and his tongue loose. Harrington looked up at him with a frown. 

“Just thought you had a better shot.” 

“Nah, you had a good shot,” Billy affirmed. 

He knew Harrington was lying, the whole team was praising Billy for a point that wasn’t really his and he wanted to know why. Harrington played with the napkin and didn’t say anything. 

“Why are you so scared of being the best?” He provoked. 

Harrington looked at him and sighed. 

“I used to have it all. I was team captain, I was popular and I dated any girl I wanted, but none of it meant anything. It was all _bullshit_. I’m not that guy anymore. I don’t know if I was ever that guy, not really.”

Billy understood. He understood because he was that guy. It was easier, safer, that way. He liked to be safe. If people found out what he really was, his life would be over. He really did understand, but he didn’t say anything. 

"When you think of what you have become today,” Steve continued, looking at him. “Is that what you thought you would be? Is that what you dreamed to be? Because I am not sure."

Billy didn’t have to think about it, he knew the answer. 

“And what did you dream?” He asked. 

Steve seemed ready to answer him when Max showed up and told Billy it was late and they should go. 

That had been the second honest conversation that they had.

He looked at Steve while they ate their expensive pizza and watched TV.  Billy never knew what it was that he dreamed. He wondered if Steve even knew it himself. One thing Billy noticed was that the guy was constantly in doubt. He was nothing like Billy, who was always sure of everything. At that moment, he was sure that being around Steve Harrington was a terrible idea. 

* * *

 

Steve woke up with a ray of sunshine hitting his eyes. The TV was still on and he didn’t remember falling asleep. He was pretty sure they stayed up for most of the night. Billy was out on the other couch. Billy seemed peaceful when he was sleeping. Steve hoped he wasn’t having another nightmare. 

The pizza box and the coke cans were still at the center table. It felt just like when Tommy and Carol stayed over. Steve hadn’t had anyone stay over in a long time. Not even Dustin, Steve always drove him back home after they hung out. He didn’t think Billy was his friend or anything, but not being alone again after an Upside Down crisis was actually a relief. Steve didn’t have a nightmare that night.

It was 8 am, Hopper said he would come by around nine. Steve cleaned out the living room then went upstairs to take a shower. Billy’s dirty clothes were still in the bathroom. A few nougats had fallen out of his pocket, Steve ate one and left the package there for Billy to find. 

He checked himself in the mirror, confirming he looked as shitty as he felt. The blackness of his eye faded into an ugly shade of yellow. Steve took a deep breath, he had no fucking idea what he was doing. It was like he was moving on autopilot. He felt like that the entire summer, probably before that too. School was done, but he wasn’t going to college. So he found a job because what else could he do? And of course, that sucked too. His parents were still never around and he had to fight monsters and secret organizations again. All that aside, he brought Billy Hargrove under his roof. 

The most sensible part of him told him he was being ridiculous, that Billy was dangerous and if he hurt Steve once, he would do it again. While the stupid part, the part that always made Steve’s heart clench when Billy looked at him, told him that what happened to Billy wasn’t his fault and that he needed help. Steve wanted to be smart about this, but when had he ever been smart in his life? 

He went back downstairs, feeling fresh and ready to have his day ruined by Billy’s father. Waking Billy felt like a betrayal. He seemed confused for a moment like he didn’t know where he was.

“Morning. You should get ready, Hopper will be here soon.” 

Billy made a sour face when he heard the chief’s name. 

“Can I use your bathroom?” Billy’s voice was hoarse from sleep.

“Sure. Hope you’re hungry, we have leftover pizza for breakfast.” 

- 

Hopper showed up at nine in his police truck. Steve knew he was going to be smoking before he even saw him. He didn’t have the best of faces as well. It was going to be a fun drive.

“I’m glad you found a place to stay, kid,” he told Billy when they got in his car.

“It’s temporary,” said Billy. 

Hopper glanced at Steve.

“Sure.” 

Steve looked between them from the back seat like a little kid as Hopper drove off. No one said anything else so Steve guessed they were going for uncomfortable silence. He smiled to himself. 

Hopper turned the radio on to make things less awkward. It was worse. 

_… Starcourt Mall is indefinitely closed._ Said the radio host enthusiastically, _Representatives say an emergency fumigation is taking place after an apparent rat infestation…_

Billy tensed up immediately. Steve knew it was worse for him, not only because of what he did but having to deal with it after. Steve and Hopper had been through this before. Having to pretend that everything was fine - that it was all a rat infestation or a gas leak or whatever else the authorities came up with - when they were the only ones who knew the truth. Hopper sighed and changed stations until he found something he liked, old country music. Steve felt calmer, though. Hank Williams had that power. 

Hopper parked in front of the Hargrove-Mayfield house. It seemed like an ordinary house from the outside, like nothing weird could ever happen inside. But Steve knew that the events of the last days were probably not the worst thing that happened in there. Billy was quickly out of the car. 

“I’ve got some boxes in the back if you need them,” Hopper told Steve. 

Steve reached out for them before he got out of the car. Hopper got out too and the three of them stood there for a moment, unsure of what was about to happen. 

“Do you need me to go with you?” Hopper asked. 

Billy looked at Steve before answering. 

“We’re good,” he replied and then walked towards the house. 

“Just… Be alert, I guess?” Steve asked the chief. He didn’t want to seem like he was giving an order, Hopper didn’t seem like someone who took orders. 

Steve walked off after Billy, bringing the boxes in his arms. Billy stopped by the door and rang the bell. He was posing as self-assured, but Steve noticed how uneven his breathing was. He stepped closer to him, just in case he needed it. 

Neil Hargrove opened the door and he didn’t look well. There were dark bruises around his neck and his right arm was in a casket. His face at the sight of his son was a mix of anger and amusement. But then he looked past them, at Hopper, and his face fell a little. 

“You’re not allowed in this house anymore,” he spat out. 

“Believe me, I don’t want to be here. I came to get my things.” 

“ _Your_ things?”

“Yeah, _my_ things.”

Steve could feel the tension between them. Billy wasn’t backing out, though, and that made Steve want to smile. 

Neil looked between them and then at Hopper, as if he was considering his options, then he stepped away from the door. 

“Sure,” he said bitterly. 

Steve could feel the burn of his stare as they entered the house. Max was standing in the back of the room. She tried to smile at them but it looked like she had swallowed something sour. 

Billy's room looked just like two nights ago as if one had touched it. Billy stood in the middle of it, looking at the spot where he had pushed his father and choked him. There was blood on the rug under his feet. 

“What do you want me to get, Billy?” Steve asked while putting the boxes on the floor, trying to act as normal as possible. 

Billy woke up from whatever thoughts he was having. 

“Can you get the records and the books?” Billy pointed at the bookshelf. 

Steve nodded and started picking them up. Billy pulled an old travel bag from the closet, it had a shark on the side, like a mascot, and Steve wondered if that was from his old school. Steve arranged the records on one of the boxes while Billy took his clothes and stuffed them in the bag. Max came in to help Billy with the clothes without saying a word. 

Hopper had given them three boxes, but Billy’s stuff could fit in two. One box had his books, tapes and records and the other had his record player, a recorder and a boombox radio. He was really into music. Billy used the third box for his dart target and his colognes. He lingered over the bottle of hairspray for a moment, but didn’t take it, he wouldn’t need that for a while. All of Billy’s clothing fitted in one travel bag. Steve would need at least five of those. He couldn’t figure out if that was just Billy or if he was actually that rich.

“Take this to the Hopper, okay?” He told Max, pointing to the records box. She nodded and took the box out. 

“Don’t you wanna take your girl?” Steve asked him, pointing at the poster of a woman in a bikini. 

Billy rolled his eyes, but Steve could see him fighting a smile. 

“You can take that to Hopper too, I’m almost done.” 

Steve hesitated. He didn’t think it was a good idea to leave him alone with his dad in the next room. Billy seemed to notice his worries.

“I’m fine, Harrington,” he assured and Steve trusted him. 

Steve picked up the second box and the travel bag. Billy’s room was right beside the front door, but even in that short way out, he didn’t miss the way Neil was looking at him. He wondered if that’s what it had been like for Billy over the years. Having your dad look at you with hate and disgust. There wasn’t much of that in his experience, his dad was never around or didn’t seem to mind Steve when he was. 

Max was putting the first box in the back of the truck and talking to Hopper, Steve joined them. 

“Billy’s almost done,” Steve said before they could ask him and loaded the other stuff. 

Steve thought he saw movement inside the house, then he heard voices. Neil was in the room with Billy. He looked at Max and Hopper’s worried faces then rushed back to the house without a second thought. 

“He’s not here to protect _me_ ,” Steve heard Billy say before he even entered the room. 

Neil was standing near the door, staring at Billy, he didn’t notice when Steve entered. 

“Is everything alright, Billy?” Steve asked and walked towards him. 

“Got a faggot boyfriend to protect you too, Billy?” Neil provoked. 

He just wanted to get a reaction from Billy, but he wasn’t having it. 

“Yeah, I do,” Billy said with his head high. “Let’s go.”

He picked up the last box, now covered to the top with a blanket, and lead the way out. Steve followed him not missing the way Neil’s face twitched. Steve wanted to laugh. 

When they were halfway to the car, Billy stopped and turned back. He gave Steve the box and went back to where his father was standing. Steve tensed up. 

“My car keys,” Billy commanded. 

Neil’s eyes were glowing in a dangerous way when he handed Billy the key chain. Billy noticed too and he froze in place for a moment before rushing back into the house. Neil smile was cold and satisfied. Steve drop the box on the floor and ran after Billy. 

He followed Billy out the back door and down to the garage. The Camaro was covered up with a dark sheet and Billy pulled it off quickly. Steve couldn’t believe his eyes. The windshield was totally wrecked, the windows that remained were too. The car was all scratched and it was smashed up in several spots. There were pieces coming out of the hood, keeping it from closing properly. The damage was just too much to assess. 

Billy bent forward, touching the hood softly, then stepped back as if he might hurt it. His expression was pure despair. He moved his mouth like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Billy’s breathing became more and more uneven, Steve was sure he was losing it. 

“Billy,” Steve called, putting his hands on Billy’s shoulders. 

The other boy looked desperately at him, eyes full of tears and breathing heavily. Steve never thought Billy could look worse than when he was possessed, but he did and it was heartbreaking. Steve’s chest tightened, he didn’t know what to do.

“He…” Billy tried. 

“I know, I know,” Steve said, dragging a hand to cup Billy’s face, trying to ease him. 

Billy leaned into him, resting his head on Steve’s chest, clutching onto his shirt. His entire body was shaking. Steve wrapped his arms around him, running a hand over Billy’s head. 

When he looked up, Neil was watching them. Steve’s gritted his teeth so hard he thought he might break them. He had never felt so much hatred in his life. Seeing Nancy and Jonathan together had nothing on this. Steve wanted to hurt him, he wanted to take that nailed bat and push it down Neil’s throat. 

He pulled Billy closer as though he could protect him from his father’s menace. Neil’s face twisted with disgust and Steve realized he really thought that they were _together_. Steve took advantage of it. He stroked a hand up and down Billy’s back while staring Neil dead in the eye. Steve wanted him to know that, whatever he did to his son, there would be someone there to take care of him. Billy wasn’t alone anymore.  

“Let’s get out of here,” he said to Billy’s ear.

Steve led Billy around the house to avoid Neil, an arm still wrapped around him. Billy wiped his face and pulled away as they reached the front of the house. He walked straight to the car without saying a word. 

Max and Hopper looked between them with confusion. Steve searched around for the last box but couldn’t find it, they had probably loaded it. 

“What happened?” Max asked. 

Steve glanced at Billy inside the car and lowered his voice as if he couldn’t hear them. 

“He wrecked the car. It’s a total loss.”

Max looked shocked, but the chief looked pissed off. Steve noticed he had a hand over the holder of his gun and he wished Hopper opened a whole on Neil’s head. 

“We should go,” Steve told Hopper and he agreed. 

“Steve, I didn’t know,” Max moaned. 

“I know Max, it’s not your fault, okay?” 

She nodded in response. 

Steve said goodbye and got in the car. Billy was sitting still in the passenger’s seat, a dead look on his eyes. None of them said anything in the drive back, Hopper didn’t turn on the radio this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so there is a lot more angst in this chapter and I guess the next one too. Neil is an asshole and now I regret not killing him in this fic. Things will get better, though, I promise. 
> 
> I want to give special thanks to @harringrovehouse for letting me borrow her use of "plant your feet". Go read her ficlet on tumblr, it's awesome > https://harringrovehouse.tumblr.com/post/185739829401/i-dont-know-wtf-this-is-uhhhh-spoilers-its <
> 
> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and comments. I hope you guys liked it!


	4. There Is No Real Reason To Be Lonely

Billy was moving on automatic. He knew he was in Hopper’s car, knew Steve was there, but he couldn’t focus on anything. It all seemed to move slower and sound didn’t exist anymore. 

That had happened several times before. Usually, after his dad beat him, sometimes during it. It was easier to just let go, let his mind go blank and not think about anything. It didn’t make the pain go away but stopped it for a while. 

He wasn’t totally conscious when the car stopped or when he walked to the house. He only realized what he was doing when he found himself alone in Steve’s living room. Then everything came back. 

Billy felt a chill starting at the back of his neck, his heart was racing and he felt too many things at once. All the times his father hurt him, the loss of his mom, his loneliness, his rage, all of the bad things he’d ever done, it all rushed through him like a hurricane. His car, one of the few things he had ever done right, his ticket out of that place, was destroyed. He was still stuck in that nightmare of a town. It was too much. It was suffocating. He just wanted it to stop. Billy closed his eyes and let everything out. 

“Billy… Stop!” 

Harrington was staring at him from the doorway. Billy looked down to find blood on his shaky hand. The wall in front of him had a fist-sized hole. His eyes went wide. 

“Jesus, Billy,” Steve said, rushing over towards him. 

Billy flinched when he tried to hold his arm. 

“I wasn’t gonna…” He said, looking lost. 

Billy felt stupid, Steve wasn’t gonna hurt him. He reached out again, slowly this time, and Billy let him take his hand. He pulled Billy to the kitchen and stopped in front of the sink. Steve washed his own hands first. 

“This is gonna hurt,” he warned and held Billy’s hand under the water. 

It did hurt. Steve brushed his thumb gently over Billy’s busted knuckles to clean the blood. When he was satisfied, he sat Billy by the table and searched through a cabinet until he found a first-aid kit. He sat in front of Billy, taking his hand again, and carefully put an ointment over his wounds. 

Billy’s hand was still shaking but Steve was holding it so carefully, it was like he thought Billy would break if he touched him too hard. It made Billy feel warm all over. When Steve tried to wrap a bandage around his hand, Billy couldn’t take it anymore. 

“I can do that,” he said bitterly and pulled his hand away. 

Steve leaned back on his chair with a sullen face and watched Billy finish up the bandage. 

“I’m sorry about your wall, I can fix it.”  

“I don’t care about the wall, Billy,” Steve snapped. 

Billy didn’t understand. 

“What is it, then?” 

“You…” Harrington started but couldn’t finish. He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a harsh breath. 

_ You. _ Of course, the problem was Billy. He knew this would happen, that’s what he asked to be left alone. He wondered if Harrington understood what a fuck-up he was once and for all. 

“Sorry I can’t be your little project, Harrington. You can’t fix me.” 

Harrington laughed, it was sharp and mean. Billy didn’t know he could sound like that.

“There it is again. Why do you keep doing that? Locking yourself up, pushing out anyone that tries to help you?” 

“I didn’t ask for your help,” Billy barked. “I didn’t ask to be a part of some dungeons and dragons bullshit. All I ever wanted was to get my car and leave this fucking town but I’m still stuck here, with you of all people.”

Billy expected that to hurt him, make him snap or yell back, but Steve just frowned. 

“You were just gonna run away? What about Max? What about…” 

_ Me. _ Was he going to say  _ me _ ? 

“There is nothing for me here,” Billy said simply. 

Harrington fell silent for a moment. 

“I think that if you look around, you’ll find that that’s not true. There are people who actually care about you, Billy. You just need to take your head out of your ass to see it.” 

He got up and left. For someone who wanted to help so bad, Harrington was always leaving him. 

Billy pressed a hand on the back of his neck and sighed loudly. He wasn’t going to be bitter about this. Harrington didn’t know shit about him. He didn't need to listen to that. He didn't need to stay there. Billy saved some money working at the Pool. It was enough to buy a bus ticket to San Diego. Maybe if he sold some of his stuff he might manage to survive for a week or so. He would need to find a job pretty quickly though. It wasn't what he planned, definitely wasn't perfect but it was better than staying there.

His things were left by the entrance of the house. He got one of the boxes and sat on the stairwell. He pulled out the blanket he used to hide it’s contents from his dad and picked up the crafted wooden box. He held it like it was precious but the box was old and worn out. The light brown painting was scratched and the corners were chipped. It was one of the few things he had of his mom since his father had thrown most of them out after she left. 

It was his mom’s old jewelry box, she used to let him play with it. Sometimes he pretended he was a pirate who found a treasure, other times he’d wear them and pretend he was his mother. She always thought it was funny but his dad hated it.  _ You’re turning him into a fag _ . Billy didn’t know what that word meant at the time, he just knew it was bad if it made his dad mad like that. When his mom left she took the jewels with her. He found the box on her closet floor along with a lone ring, forgot in the hurry, just like he was. 

He hid the box ever since. His father still didn’t know he had it. Billy kept the ring too. It had a thin silver band that waved around a round-cut, white center stone. It was simple but beautiful. It used to be huge on his fingers, now he could barely fit it in his pinky. 

The box also contained a few pictures of his mom. People always said he looked a lot like her. Her hair was curlier than his, but they had the same shade of blond, maybe the same eyes as well. And now he was leaving too, just like she did. Billy got the worst parts of his parents. The apple truly didn’t fall far from the tree. 

* * *

 

“I want to go too,” she told Jim. 

He sighed and looked back at her from the door, she already knew the answer. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, kid. He’s been through a lot already, give him some time, okay?” 

_ But I can help! _

She didn’t argue, though. Instead, she asked to go see Mike later because she hadn’t seen him since the hospital and they hadn’t been apart for long that summer. 

“Get home before dark, and be careful,” he warned, giving her a kiss on the forehead. 

“I will,” she assured and he left for work. 

Jim had been way less paranoid about her leaving the house. He still had rules and he still worried but he knew she could take care of herself. He trusted her like she trusted him. They were family. 

She couldn’t help to think about Billy. When Jane met him, she thought he was a mouth breather - a jerk, as Max called him - and she didn’t like him one bit. Max told her he wasn’t always like this, that he used to be nice and he could be really cool when he wanted to. 

“Did he hurt you?” She asked one day. 

“Not exactly,” Max replied and Jane knew she wasn’t telling the whole truth.

“Friends don’t lie.”

Max took a deep breath. 

“When he wants to hurt me, he hurts the people that I care about.” 

At that moment Jane disliked him even more. She wanted to punish him. Jane planned to do something when Billy came to pick Max up that day, but when Max got in the car he said something that made her laugh. They seemed like friends for a moment, so she didn’t do anything. 

Jane remembered how, a few months before, all she and Jim did was fight. Then she left to find her mom, but neither she or her aunt was like she expected. She thought about Kali, all the bad things she had done and Jane still couldn’t feel hate.  _ Family can be complicated _ , Jim said. Jane was beginning to understand that. But she only truly understood once she got inside Billy’s head. 

At first, it was confusing and scary. She could feel so much anger, so much destruction, and she wasn’t sure which parts came from Billy and which ones came from the Mindflayer. But when she looked closely, she saw all the things that were hidden. The pain, the fear, the loneliness. Jane realized how similar that boy was to the little girl she had been. Billy and Eleven were the same. They both had a bad papa, both had done bad things and they shared the same loneliness too.

Her friends decided that they should try to save him and if they couldn’t, they had to end it. But how could she do it? Mike hadn’t turned his back on her when he found her in the storm that night, he gave her a home instead. Jane found Billy trapped in a storm inside his own head, she couldn’t turn her back on him. Instead, she showed him the way home. 

The clock marked nine-thirty. Jane got her backpack and a bottle of water - it’s important to keep hydrated during the summer -  and left the house. It wasn’t a long walk, she could get there by nine-forty-five, but it would take longer to get to Mike’s. 

Jane knew the area well now, she made a home there and those woods were her backyard. She liked being around nature. It had been too many years locked inside that lab smelling bleacher and filtered air. The woods smelled like life, especially in the summer. Hawkins was so pretty. She wondered what other pretty places she might see. 

It didn’t take long to get to the first houses, it wasn’t a long walk to Loch Nora from there. Jane recognized Steve’s house when she saw it even though she had only been there once. Her wristwatch marked nine-fifty. She walked up to the house hoping it had been enough time, hoping they would be there and knocked on the door. 

No one answered. 

She knocked again. This time, the door opened and Billy stared down at her. 

Jane almost didn’t recognize him. His hair was cut short like hers used to be. Instinctively she reached up to touch her own hair as if it could be gone too. Billy looked sick like he hadn’t seen the sun in days and she felt bad. He didn’t look okay and he reminded her too much of herself. 

“Hi, Billy,” she said. 

Billy just looked at her with big eyes. Surprise. He is surprised. 

“You…” He started. “You were in my head.”

She nodded. 

“Did you walk here?” He asked. She nodded again. 

“I’m supposed to go to Mike’s.”

“That’s a good walk, Kid.”

“Can you walk with me?”

Billy stayed quiet for a moment. She wondered if he might be afraid of her, a lot of people seemed to be. He looked back inside the house then stepped out and closed the door behind him. Jane smiled at him. 

“Let’s go then,” he said and walked ahead of her. “Does your dad know you’re here?” 

Jane didn’t reply, that way she didn’t have to lie.

“What happened to your hand?” She asked instead. Billy didn’t reply either. 

Steve’s driveway was long and they walked in silence until they reached the sidewalk. 

“I know you were in my head, I just don’t understand how.”

That was exactly what she expected him to ask about. She asked herself that too. Jane knew she was different, that she could do things other people couldn’t, but that’s how it always was. It was natural, she just did them. Some things were simple and easy, others were harder and they hurt. 

“I can _ find _ people.  _ See _ them. It was something papa did to mama before I was born. Experiments. He wanted me to find people and hurt them. I ran away.”

Jane never really had to explain that to anyone. She only told Mike what her papa had done and what happened to mama. She imagined he told the others. It was better like that. Jane didn’t like to talk about it. Billy didn’t seem scared or surprised by what she told him, he just kept quiet for a while.

“It’s because of you, right? That  _ thing _ was here. That it found me.”

“Yes,” she admitted. 

“But it’s gone now?” 

“Yes.” 

She hoped. 

“Thank you for, you know, getting it out,” Billy said facing away from her. 

Jane looked at him.

“I didn’t. I showed you the way.  _ You _ fought it.” 

He looked at her and squinted his eyes. Confused. 

“The memories. Harrington and Max. That was you?” 

Jane nodded.

“You needed to remember the good things. Friends.” 

She gave him a smile that he didn’t give back. 

“They’re not my friends, I don’t have any friends.”

Jane didn’t understand. They helped each other, cared about each other. That’s what friends did. Maybe Billy was lying. Maybe he was scared of hurting them, just like she was when she came back from the upside down and before Jim found her. She didn’t want to put them in danger but it hurt to be away from them too. 

Without her noticing, they reached Mike’s house. Jane eyed Billy. She wanted to tell him that it would be better and that he could stay with Jim and her in the cabin until then, but it didn’t feel right. He was with Steve now and she liked him. She went for something else. 

“ _ Friends _ can be complicated,” she told him and squeezed his hand. He looked surprised at her.

Jane walked over to the door and rang the bell, Mike opened up right away. He made a face at Billy.

“What is  _ he _ doing here?”

“He is my friend,” she replied, loud enough for Billy to hear. 

* * *

Steve stormed up to his room and threw himself in bed, burying his head on the pillows. He was fucking exhausted. Steve had watched Billy have two mental breakdowns in less than thirty minutes and it was too much. He couldn’t say he didn’t know what he was dealing with when he invited Billy over. Since Steve met him Billy had been a ticking time bomb and being possessed by the Mindflayer hadn’t change that. Billy was a mess, but then again, so was he. 

In January, Steve was struggling with his college applications. The deadline would be in ten days and he still hadn’t written an acceptable essay. He had started months ago with Nancy’s help but he managed to procrastinate his year out. He had been stressed out, anxious, unfocused and sleepless. Steve skipped last period to go to the library and try to write the damn thing. After one hour he had nothing but a pile of crumpled up papers. He didn’t notice Billy Hargrove approaching until the boy yanked Steve’s last draft from the table. 

“Writing a love letter?” Billy mocked. 

Steve immediately got up and tried to take the paper back. Billy just stepped backward, there was no way Steve could get it back without making a scene at the library. He took a deep breath.

“Give it back, Hargrove,” he said, trying to sound commanding even though he couldn’t speak louder. 

Billy just ignored him and passed his eyes over the paper, eyebrows drawing close. He was actually reading it. Steve panicked and jumped forward trying to snatch it from Billy’s hands but he moved his arm behind him and leaned against a bookshelf, putting his body between the paper and Steve. 

“Is this for college?” He asked. 

Steve stepped forward pressing their bodies together. He put his arms behind Billy and took the essay back. Billy just let him. 

“It’s none of your business,” Steve said slowly, his face an inch away from Billy. 

He walked back to the table and collected his things. Billy managed to ruin the library too. 

“I can help you if you want.” 

Steve stared at him. He hadn’t moved away and he looked weird, like he was glued to the bookshelf behind him. Steve knew Billy had good grades, most teachers said he’d be a top student if he just watched his attitude - which only made him act out more - but there was no reason for him to want to help, he was probably just fucking with him. 

“Pass,” Steve decided and turned to leave.

“Don’t be a bitch, Harrington. When is the deadline, next month? I can help, seriously.”

Steve looked back at him and Billy had the most serious face he had ever seen.

“If you’re screwing with me…”

Billy laughed.

“I wouldn’t screw you like that,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.  

Steve was fucking lost. 

They settled back on the table. Billy took a look a the paper, read it a few times and then marked the entire thing. Steve watched astonished as Billy laid the page out in front of him. 

“Okay, this is the stuff you cut,” he pointed at the underlined text, “and the rest we can work with.”

Steve gaped at him. 

“That’s like half the essay. You’re cutting out half of it?” 

Billy shrugged. 

“Look, pretty boy, it’s not bad. It just doesn’t work here. You need to go for things that work. You can talk about basketball, that’s great, but you need to get more personal. Talk about your life battles and all, they eat that shit up.”

Steve thought about his battles against Demodogs and he was sure they wouldn’t eat that. He sighed and buried his head in his hands. He couldn’t do this and there was no point anyway. 

“Stop whining, you can do it,” Billy said and shoved him slightly. Steve imagined that was the gentler he’d get. 

Billy let Steve write alone while he did his own homework. That was good because Steve didn’t feel so pressured but it was bad because he kept getting distracted by Billy. Unsurprisingly, Billy needed his tongue to study. He bit it, swirled it around the tip of his pen or just passed it over his lips constantly, it was very entertaining. 

“I know it’s hard but try to keep your eyes off me, Harrington,” he said and Steve went back to his essay.

They worked on it for the rest of the afternoon. By the end of the day, Steve had written and rewritten it several times, taking in all of Billy’s corrections and advice. He didn’t fool himself into thinking it was great, but it was good enough and he actually finished it. Steve couldn’t believe he’d done it. He could fucking hug Billy Hargrove for it.

“See? Told you you could do it,” Billy said leaning in his chair. “Of course, you couldn’t have done it without me. I guess you own me now.”

Steve laughed. 

“Where are you applying?” Billy asked. 

“Indianapolis, Indiana too and maybe Chicago, I don’t know.” 

His best shot was Indianapolis, he had heard they would take anyone so that sounded good enough for him. But Indiana University and the University of Chicago were good schools, they were a missed shot. They had all been a missed shot in the end, Steve just didn’t know that yet. 

“Did you apply anywhere?”

“Colleges are not for guys like me, pretty boy,” Billy laughed it off. 

“C’ mon,” Steve smiled. “ You could get in anywhere, you’re super smart, man. Even if you like to pretend you’re not. _ ” _

Billy just stared at him and chuckled like he couldn’t believe he had just said that. Steve couldn’t believe  _ he had _ just said that. Billy had some kind of look in his eyes that made his face heat up and his chest tighten. 

“Thanks, anyway,” Steve said to change the subject. 

Billy got up and put on his jacket. He took a cigarette and placed it between his lips, smiling down at Steve. It really was some vision, Billy looked like a rockstar, not someone who had just been tutoring a classmate. 

“Don’t worry, Harrington, you can thank me later,” he winked and walked away. 

He wished good luck before disappearing through the corridor, Steve sat back and stared after him, not quite understanding what had happened. 

Billy still had the same effect on him. That day, he found himself wanting that Billy had stayed, that they’d hang out or something. Back then he didn’t bother to think of why but he did now. 

He guessed he missed having a friend. The people he had been hanging out with were either his ex-girlfriend and the guy she left him for or a group of kids. The kids were great, sure, and he loved Dustin like a little brother but it was different with Billy. They had been through similar stuff. Steve knew Billy’s attitude was a facade because he used to wear it too. And he could understand having problems at home because he had them as well. Both of them were broken in some way. Billy and he had done the enemy thing, the fighting, and hating. But then he had a taste of the other side and he really liked it. 

Steve got up and went back downstairs, determined to talk to Billy but he wasn’t there. He wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room or the bathroom. Steve looked every room upstairs and then downstairs again, in his father’s office, the basement and outside. Nothing. Billy was gone. The boxes with his things were still there, though. 

He took another look out into the back, where the house met the forest. Maybe Billy left or maybe something took him. Steve stared at the pool, where once a Demogorgon took Barb away. He could feel himself start to panic. His heart was drumming and his chest felt smaller. He was sweating.  _ Fuck _ . Steve closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing. First in then out. He repeated again and again until he had calmed down. Everything was fine. 

A door closed somewhere behind him. Steve rushed to the entrance and Billy was standing by the door. They stared awkwardly at each other before Steve spoke. 

“I thought you left,” he said, trying not to look like he almost had a panic attack. 

“Just needed to take a walk.”

Billy was standing with both hands in his pockets, Steve couldn’t read his face, it was blank. He walked over to the stairs and sat down, leaving room beside him. Steve wasn’t sure if it was an invitation but he took the spot anyway. Billy picked up a wooden box from one of the boxes with his stuff. Steve didn’t remember seeing him get that. 

“What’s that?” 

“It was my mom’s,” he replied, handing the box over.

Steve opened it. Inside there were pictures of a young woman who looked a lot like Billy. One of the pictures had him too, he should’ve been around ten and he was cute and chubby. Steve smiled. 

“You look like her,” he commented and he hoped it was a good thing. “What happened to her?” 

“She’s just gone,” Billy answered.

It didn’t answer anything but Steve wasn’t going to pressure when Billy was willingly sharing part of his life with him. He went really quiet, though and Steve was sure he said something wrong.

“I don’t know how to fix this, Harrington,” Billy said slowly. 

Steve watched him carefully. Billy had honesty in his eyes that he had never seen. 

“We can just figure it out as we go. But you don’t have to do it alone, Billy.”

Neither of them had. 

Billy seemed to watch him with the same caution, searching for a lie in Steve’s eyes. He nodded slowly, keeping his eyes locked with Steve’s. 

“Where can I put this?” He gestured at the boxes and Steve grinned. 

“I’ll show you to your room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I'm posting before s3 drops. I don't know what will happen after, maybe I won't feel like finishing this, maybe I'll fucking need to. Let's see. And I guess I'm sorry if you're reading this because s3 wasn't satisfying but welcome I guess. 
> 
> Thanks a lot for the kudos and the comments, which I don't reply because I get anxious but I do love them and they make me want to write more! I hope you enjoy this chapter and if I move forward with this I'll try not to make everything so angsty.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was chapter 1, I'll be posting the next one soon. 
> 
> I have no idea how many typos and spelling mistakes I made, english is not my first language so it's kinda hard, but please let me know if you find any, I appreciate constructive criticism. 
> 
> Finally, please, if you don't enjoy Harringrove, just ignore me and my works.


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